The Token Black Kid

Note: This may appear to be a smidge on the long side, but I think you might find this interesting, so don't let that inhibit you because it'll pass quick.

I have a strong attachment to Sag Harbor just because it's so relatable to me. Two chapters in, I asked Mr. Mitchell if I could write my reflective response paper on this book instead of BSG just because I had so many little notes written in the margins and there was so much that I felt I could write about. The biggest thing I can relate to Benji on is being "the token black kid".

Benji noted that "Ever bar or bat mitzvah should have at least one black kid with a yarmulke hovering on his Afro -- it's a nice visual joke, let's just get that out of the way, but more important it trains the kid in question to determine when people in the corner of his eye are talking about him and when they are not, a useful skill in later life  when sorting out bona-fide persecution from perceived persecution, the this-is-actually-happening from mere paranoid manifestation" (Whitehead 10; paperback).

This is completely and utterly true.

It's such a weird time and place nowadays with race relations, because a lot of things said and actions taken can have incredibly ambiguous undertones. And to be honest, I feel that from 1985, when Sag Harbor was set, to now, ideas on race and the 'black identity' haven't changed a whole ton. I don't know wether to laugh or cry when people say stupid things like "racism is over". Which has been said. To my face. Multiple times. It isn't over, just more 'subtle'; I emphasize the word with quotations because most of the time it's not even subtle, people just wish to ignore it and pretend society is swell. But we know it isn't because we have still have issues like the racism from the Sigma Alpha Epsilon frat (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/03/27/sae-fraternity-racist-song_n_6956790.html). There's also the Trayvon Martin, Michael Brown, and a whole fucking lot of other shootings (check out http://www.buzzfeed.com/nicholasquah/heres-a-timeline-of-unarmed-black-men-killed-by-police-over#.liY40zJKrM). And a shit ton more.

But I don't mean to go on a rant about that right now.

The point I mean to be making is that I have much familiarity with being "the token black kid". Uni isn't the most diverse of places, and I have some classes where I'm the only black kid in the room. I have lots of friends who make jokes about how I'm their black friend, as if I help fill some sort of quota. I have people who make semi-racist jokes around me and then say that it's fine because they have black friends. That's some fucking false justification right there.

Sure, sometimes there is a lot of paranoia involved. When I was the only black person at my a few of my friends' Jewish conformation ceremony, I'm pretty sure no one had too many opinions about me simply because of the color of my skin. But then there's times when people say things that make me feel like my sole purpose really is just to fill some type of quota and have no other use than being black. When I joined my robotics team, I had a friend who wouldn't stop making jokes about how my only purpose on the team was to bring diversity. It's true, females are very much minority on robotics teams. It's true, black people are even more of a minority on robotics teams. The first few times this was mentioned I'd just laugh. Then I'd just role my eyes and continue on with my business.

This next paragraph is basically taken directly from my reflective response paper (Sorry Mr. Mitchell!), but to be honest I don't know if I could rephrase it and still get the point across well:

At one of the robotics competitions I attended in the last few months, I was scheduled to be down in the pits, which is somewhat of a backstage-type area where all the teams have sectioned off areas where they keep and work on their robots. People can walk around and look at other teams’ robots and judges walk around and ask teams questions. One of my teammates straight up told that I was being scheduled in the pits at the time the judges were predicted to come to us because “it will look really good that we have a black female on the team.” I definitely consider myself to be friends with the guy who told me that, and I was kind of taken aback that he thought nothing of what he was saying. Thing is, I wouldn’t have minded at all if I was told, “one of the reasons is because it will look good but also [insert something about me being legitimately useful and capable to the team here].” I totally understand that it looks good to the judges for superficial reasons, I’d just like to have some legitimate use to the team based off my own abilities and skills instead of something I can’t control like my race. I did end up being in the pits when the judges came around, and I actually talked to them by myself for a bit, since I was the only person free. I did a bomb ass job. I’m sure it looked great.

I feel like this is dragging on and I'm afraid if I make it much longer people won't wish to read it. I just hope that you guys get my point about how Benji's awareness of having to separate bona-fide persecution from perceived persecution is totally relatable and relevant today for so many people.

COA is Coming to a Close

At the end of my Hero's Journey english class last semester, I wrote a blog post that kind of just reflected back on all the books we read and kinda bring everything together. I'd like to go a similar route here. Here my reflections on the novels we covered in order of least to most enjoyable:

1. A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man: I might have to say that this is my least favorite of the novels we read this semester. Maybe it's because it was the first book we were to read after winter break, and I didn't want to have to get involved in school again. Maybe it's because it was build season and I was at robotics almost every night for three hours, so I didn't always have time to read, or time to enjoy reading it. I think those are both factors, but I also didn't find Stephen hugely relatable.
2. Housekeeping: I'm not sure what to think of Housekeeping. The writing is beautiful -- almost lyrical in some places -- and yet I never really got hooked or felt like I needed to know what was going to happen next or anything. I'm also not completely sold on this novel as a coming of age narrative for Ruth. It kinda just went from her following Lucille around everywhere to her following Sylvie around everywhere. Additionally, the majority of the novel I felt like Sylvie was a terrible guardian and that Ruth and Lucille should not be entrusted to her care, but then there were nice, sentimental moments between Sylvie and Ruth that were nice to read. This novel makes me very torn and confused.
3. The Bell Jar: I really enjoyed this book as well. I could relate to Esther in some way, but not in others. There are themes in this book, specifically Esther's mental illness, that I feel uncomfortable talking about in class or on here, but I had no problem reading about them. I really am glad I read this novel.
4. The Catcher in the Rye: We got to this book, and I loved it. The thing is, I've had this book recommended to me by so many people! I just always assumed it would be boring or weird. Maybe the title threw me off? I remember I was misinformed by a friend and thought for the longest time that it was about a kid having to survive out in the wilderness or something weird that. And then when I learned otherwise, the story never really popped out to me. I dunno. But when I actually did read this book I loved it so much. There's something about Holden's narrative voice that is so very appealing and always made me want to read more.
5. Sag Harbor: I have really been enjoying this one, and it's pretty relatable for me (as seen by my previous blog post, as well as the one I'm going to post after this). There's the race and identity thing that I get, but the book is also relatable in other ways. There's the summer fun with friends, the will to reinvent myself, the generational gap. Some of the chapters are pretty long, though, and so sometimes I'll get into the flow of reading and then just start to kinda drift off because the chapter is still going on.
6. Black Swag Green: This novel was great. It was so incredibly relatable and Jason totally felt like a mix between my kid brother and a past version of me. It was pretty easy to get hooked, and reading it didn't feel like work as much as the other books (minus Catcher) did. Oh, and I loved the fact that the novel practically has it's own soundtrack.

Note: Spots 4, 5, and 6 are pretty interchangeable. I don't like any one of those three books much more than the others; I think they're all really good.

A Choice Selection

I'm going to go straight out and admit that the first thing that drew me to Sag Harbor is that it is centered around a black kid. 

After we finished Black Swan Green and were supposed to start the new novel, I literally sat on my bed and had to repeat to myself, 'Just one more book Tiye. Then you'll be done for the year.' Needless to say, I was not excited to still have more of the same reading and paper writing cycle, and summer felt so close, yet so very far. The thing is, I love to read, it's just that being forced to do so and graded on it takes all the thrill out of it for me and makes the entire process very mentally strenuous. As soon as I read the back cover, though, I perked up. I was actually excited to do school work of all things. Shocking, I know.

The thing is, before this book I think I'd read two books about African-Americans in my entire school career. Freshman year we read Black Boy by Richard Wright, which takes place in the earlier part of the 20th century when Jim Crow and segregation and outright blatant white supremacy could be seen pretty much anywhere you went. Sophomore year we read Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe, and that takes place in the late 19th century in Africa (and thus is about an African, not an African-American, so I'm not even sure it counts with the point I'm trying to make, but it's the only other book with a black main character so there we go). Sag Harbor make's black book three. Actually, that's a lie -- in elementary school we had picture books about Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King Jr. and Ruby Bridges during Black History Month. 

One thing I'd like to point out about all those books is that they are all set in eras pre- or during-Civil Rights Movement. Sag Harbor is set in the '80s -- my parents generation -- and yet it's the closest to my own generation I've been introduced to in a school setting. This is the first book we were assigned about an African-American that isn't blatantly describing, or written with the sole purpose of describing, segregation and white supremacy.

This is not to say that I haven't read other books about a wider variety of African-Americans that aren't directly connected to the Civil Rights Movement, it's just been in my free time rather than at school, and the numbers still pale (get it?) in comparison to the amount of books I've read about white people. Before anyone comments saying, "Well, if'd you'd taken African-American Lit then your number would have been bumped way up." That is true, and I tried, I just didn't get in and when I wanted to transfer apparently it was full. Also, may I just note that we don't need a class called "White People Lit" because that's already what the majority of them are. Uni is actually decent with book diversity though, as the three books on my list were all read here. Know that "decent" is only three books, but my friend from Centennial said she's read zero books about black kids, so it's better than that at least.

Anyways, Sag Harbor is much more relatable for me that any of the books we're read in the past, regardless of the race of the protagonist. It's just about a black kid trying to have a good summer and live a decently normal life like a normal person. And it's post-civil war; let's face it, as much as I can be empathetic towards Ruby Bridges, I can't actually relate because we have such different life experiences. I guess I’m just trying to say that it would have been nice if there were books about everyday, middle class, black kids from educated families post Civil Rights Movement that I could have grown up reading. Just one.