Note: This may appear to be a smidge on the long side, but I think you might find this interesting, so don't let that inhibit you because it'll pass quick.
I have a strong attachment to Sag Harbor just because it's so relatable to me. Two chapters in, I asked Mr. Mitchell if I could write my reflective response paper on this book instead of BSG just because I had so many little notes written in the margins and there was so much that I felt I could write about. The biggest thing I can relate to Benji on is being "the token black kid".
Benji noted that "Ever bar or bat mitzvah should have at least one black kid with a yarmulke hovering on his Afro -- it's a nice visual joke, let's just get that out of the way, but more important it trains the kid in question to determine when people in the corner of his eye are talking about him and when they are not, a useful skill in later life when sorting out bona-fide persecution from perceived persecution, the this-is-actually-happening from mere paranoid manifestation" (Whitehead 10; paperback).
This is completely and utterly true.
It's such a weird time and place nowadays with race relations, because a lot of things said and actions taken can have incredibly ambiguous undertones. And to be honest, I feel that from 1985, when Sag Harbor was set, to now, ideas on race and the 'black identity' haven't changed a whole ton. I don't know wether to laugh or cry when people say stupid things like "racism is over". Which has been said. To my face. Multiple times. It isn't over, just more 'subtle'; I emphasize the word with quotations because most of the time it's not even subtle, people just wish to ignore it and pretend society is swell. But we know it isn't because we have still have issues like the racism from the Sigma Alpha Epsilon frat (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/03/27/sae-fraternity-racist-song_n_6956790.html). There's also the Trayvon Martin, Michael Brown, and a whole fucking lot of other shootings (check out http://www.buzzfeed.com/nicholasquah/heres-a-timeline-of-unarmed-black-men-killed-by-police-over#.liY40zJKrM). And a shit ton more.
But I don't mean to go on a rant about that right now.
The point I mean to be making is that I have much familiarity with being "the token black kid". Uni isn't the most diverse of places, and I have some classes where I'm the only black kid in the room. I have lots of friends who make jokes about how I'm their black friend, as if I help fill some sort of quota. I have people who make semi-racist jokes around me and then say that it's fine because they have black friends. That's some fucking false justification right there.
Sure, sometimes there is a lot of paranoia involved. When I was the only black person at my a few of my friends' Jewish conformation ceremony, I'm pretty sure no one had too many opinions about me simply because of the color of my skin. But then there's times when people say things that make me feel like my sole purpose really is just to fill some type of quota and have no other use than being black. When I joined my robotics team, I had a friend who wouldn't stop making jokes about how my only purpose on the team was to bring diversity. It's true, females are very much minority on robotics teams. It's true, black people are even more of a minority on robotics teams. The first few times this was mentioned I'd just laugh. Then I'd just role my eyes and continue on with my business.
This next paragraph is basically taken directly from my reflective response paper (Sorry Mr. Mitchell!), but to be honest I don't know if I could rephrase it and still get the point across well:
At one of the robotics competitions I attended in the last few months, I was scheduled to be down in the pits, which is somewhat of a backstage-type area where all the teams have sectioned off areas where they keep and work on their robots. People can walk around and look at other teams’ robots and judges walk around and ask teams questions. One of my teammates straight up told that I was being scheduled in the pits at the time the judges were predicted to come to us because “it will look really good that we have a black female on the team.” I definitely consider myself to be friends with the guy who told me that, and I was kind of taken aback that he thought nothing of what he was saying. Thing is, I wouldn’t have minded at all if I was told, “one of the reasons is because it will look good but also [insert something about me being legitimately useful and capable to the team here].” I totally understand that it looks good to the judges for superficial reasons, I’d just like to have some legitimate use to the team based off my own abilities and skills instead of something I can’t control like my race. I did end up being in the pits when the judges came around, and I actually talked to them by myself for a bit, since I was the only person free. I did a bomb ass job. I’m sure it looked great.
I feel like this is dragging on and I'm afraid if I make it much longer people won't wish to read it. I just hope that you guys get my point about how Benji's awareness of having to separate bona-fide persecution from perceived persecution is totally relatable and relevant today for so many people.
No comments:
Post a Comment